Thursday, October 22, 2015

Important questions for New Yorkers

Written on Monday when it was cold:
It is officially chilly. Not yet freezing but chilly. I'm into long sleeved jammies, boots, parka and scarves that are both decorative AND warm.

So please SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME
Why any woman or man in NYC would walk around with a long, expensive, high quality wool coat - and HIGH HEELED COURT SHOES WITH NO SOCKS
And trousers that are cropped to a chic just-above-the-ankle. Why? What the fuck is the point of the huge ass coat if you're going to have frozen blue feet and ankles? Idiocy to the degree of unbearable. Today I did also see people in tshirts and denim jackets as their entire upper body coverage so apparently the weather makes people not just cold but stupid.

Question two is for people with tiny bags. Small handbags or satchels. Small. To the carriers of small bags I want to say 'how?'
How is that you can get through your day with the minimal amount of stuff you can carry in that bag? Do you live everywhere? You can always go home and get stuff that you need because you live everywhere? Is the person next to you with the backpack actually someone you have hired to carry your real stuff? Or is your life just incredibly empty?
I don't buy the 'Tessa they are just better than you at taking only the bare essentials' argument I can feel hanging in the air. Assuming you are going out in the morning for a fairly typical day, here are the bare essentials: phone, keys, wallet, water bottle, lip balm, book, headphones, snacks/packed meal, change of clothes either for going out/rehearsal/audition/working out/going to your signiciant other's place/whatever it is you might do after work, canvas bag/alternative bag to put purchases in so you don't need a plastic bag, emergency layer for when the temperamental New York weather unexpectedly drops a few degrees without warning, hand sanitiser, moisturising lotion, makeup/personal grooming stuff, tampons when necessary, work projects, umbrella...
These are all 100% necessary for me to sanely manage any kind of day. What do these people do that they have such tiny bags? What if they need a plaster or deodorant or just anything that humans need on a regular basis?
I was just behind a girl coming out of the subway at noon on a Thursday and she had a very small purse bag...and that was it. A bag big enough to fit a phone, maybe a pack of tissues and a metrocard. What are you doing with your day, madam? What intense amount of nothing are you doing that you can breeze around town with only those things? Especially suspicious since we were in Columbia University territory. If we'd been in a hot shopping district I could believe that she was just going to go swipe crazy with the credit card that could feasibly fit into her miniature bag but in that area there are cheap student eating establishments, stationery shops and child-friendly book and ice cream places. I want to know what her life entails and I want to know now.

One day I'll just ask someone outright 'hey, why have you smothered your upper body in incredibly expensive wool and left your ankles exposed to the elements?' And 'hey do you have a car following you with all the stuff you actually need for life in this city or are you a very vapid person who really does only need a phone and some cash?'

Grr unreasonable rant over. I'm right though.

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