Friday, March 6, 2015

And plié

Because a plié is what you do to prepare for a jump. Or I suppose I could have said step ball change, or glissade, or turn en dehors...things you might do in preparation for a leap.
Moving day in T minus 24 hours.
Sudden chill of fear ran through me on the way home from babysitting as I realised 'this is the last time it will take me 15 minutes to get home from babysitting'. From now on my journey will be far longer. Those thoughts immediately gave way to 'Tessa are you sure you know what you're doing?'
Luckily this is not the first time I've made a big decision and got scared at the last minute so I know how to talk myself through it. They key is to remind yourself of why you wanted to do it in the first place, and that there was a moment in time when you 100% wanted this without question. The other key is to remind yourself that if you do something big and it doesn't go down how you hoped, you can go back and start over. So just do it. Finally it's important to remember that without risk there can never be reward. As when I broke up with my college boyfriend, when I went to my first ever Bestival alone with a busted knee and when I skipped from NY to Indiana on a whim, I had this feeling of going suddenly into freefall and not knowing where I would land. I also knew that if I hadn't stepped off the cliff and gone into freefall, I would have stayed in a place of feeling pretty much fine but always mildly frustrated.  Who wants that? Not me, never. If you don't like something about your situation, it's in your power to change it because it won't change itself. 
And with that I'm done with scared and I'm back to PSYCHED!!!
Finally thought: a very important lady in my life let's call her Shmola and I had a discussion about this a couple of years ago and we both agreed that 'we'd rather jump'. She's since demonstrated the power of this mantra. If she can do it, I can.
Chassé, pas de bourree, glissade JETÉ

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