Monday, February 9, 2015


Yup I've already failed but it's for a good reason I swear! I can't help when inspiration strikes.

This is how it went down: brushed my teeth, brushed my hair.  Switched off the light.  Had some water.  About to climb into bed when my thought process interrupted itself to have an idea.  Thought process -
I'm writing a lot in my blog about trying to find some calm and inner peace
She says, writing in her blog on her laptop in her apartment...First World problems
Although I bet there are people in the world with no blog laptop or NYC apartment who have a lot more inner peace than me
Not that many of them wouldn't like the opportunity to live an easy life I'm sure
WAIT what are some actual first world problems not just the dumb ones that people hashtag like 'my iPhone 6 bent, #FirstWorldProblems' and think it's funny when it's actually quite sad

Here are some ideas of what real #FirstWorldProblems might look like

- I can't sleep at night because I put so much pressure on myself to keep up with the breakneck pace of the city in which I live

- I'm quite lonely and I think that looking at a screen and judging a person by a few images and a couple of lines of text is a legitimate way to find love

- I can't cook anything because it's so easy to get food delivered

- My dog is overweight and at risk of health problems because I think it's fun to keep it indoors all the time and feed it from my plate and carry it everywhere in a bag

- I had my body surgically augmented because my partner wanted me to and implied that they would cheat on me otherwise

- I have debt from student loans that I will never be able to pay off, ever

- I spend more time at the gym than with my friends because I'm obsessively dedicated to maintaining an Instagram-ready body at all times

- I dislike myself every single day because I see so many advertisements and magazine covers featuring one version of ideal beauty or success

- My ambition is to become a star on YouTube making beauty tutorials

- I've been to University five times but never finished because I can't find anything I actually want to do and nothing is fulfilling

- I work so many hours for a huge paycheck that I never spend time with my infant children

- My pre-teen daughter knows all the words and choreography to Anaconda by Nicki Minaj but knows and cares nothing about the traditional music from my birth country

That's a few ideas.  I chose those things because let's say a person from Burundi or the Democratic Republic of Congo or Malawi were to read those.  Those countries have some of the lowest GDP in the world and they suffer low life expectancy, poverty and disease.  They could really use the plentiful food, advanced healthcare and opportunities we have in the richest countries in the World, no question.  I could show them a list of things like 'food'  'a sanitary plumbing system' 'shoes' 'a comfortable bed' 'school'
all that stuff.  But I could show them this list and I don't think they'd want a single thing on it.

So as much as people laugh and joke about #FirstWorldProblems like when Starbucks is no longer serving Pumpkin Spice Lattes or when Taylor Swift removes her music from Spotify or when the WiFi signal just isn't strong enough to upload this hilarious Vine*.....I personally think it's worth remembering that the biggest FWP of all is that anyone even mentions that crap when the things in my list are also going on.

Deep thoughts on a...Tuesday morning OH CRAP so much for going to bed.  Night.  Siiiigh of disappointment in self.

*read that fragment back and tell me it doesn't sound like utter gibberish

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