Wednesday, October 8, 2014

If you don't care about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, this post ain't for you. Also WHY THE HELL DON'T YOU, YOU FREAK OF NATURE

Ok here it is, I said I was going to - I can't contain my BTVS love.

Plus I'm still watching.

Reasons to love Buffy:

1. It's relatable - all the demons and monsters that Buffy and her friends fight have some kind of parallel in 'life'

  • drug addiction = dangerous magic addiction
  • your boyfriend starts acting like a dick = your boyfriend has literally been turned evil and wants to ruin your life in every way possible
  • feeling like you don't fit in, like an outsider = being the only one of your kind in that you are the Chosen One (well ok technically there are a Chosen Two for a good while but one of them doesn't count for most of it because she's busy being evil...WAIT I just extended the metaphor, tbc)
  • Above point cont'd - feeling like an outsider and either making the choice to ride it out and be unique OR making the choice to join in with whatever else is going on = being the Chosen One and accepting it and making the best job you can of it OR being the Chosen One and rejecting it completely and going along with whatever else is going on, in this case being evil
Many metaphors for growing up expressed through demonic activity.

2. Characters - 
  • Buffy, a young heroine.  Even beyond her obvious superpowers she has admirable independence, resourcefulness and sense of justice, and what's really cool is she is anything but perfect.  She is perfect at beating stuff up and trapping vampires and things like that but she's not much of a student, she sometimes alienates people, she makes bad decisions and is insecure about her ability to solve problems and her very messed up romantic life.  She self-deprecates like it's her job.
Ok I'm not listing all of them I realise we'll be here forever, the fact that  I honestly can't choose a favourite it testament to how great they are (well, Dawn starts out as a whiny pain but then she was also a little least it's an accurate portrayal...and I know there are Riley haters out there but to them I say HUSH and I don't mean the Gentlemen are coming by, oh how I love to make in jokes to myself knowing that so few people will have a clue what I'm talking about.  If I had to pick three it's Anya, Spike and it's Giles, Cordelia and Angel...Nope it's Tara, Oz and - fuck, see?!
  • Scooby Gang - collective term for Buffy and friends.  Big happy dysfunctional family, they fight evil together, they have Thanksgiving dinners, sleepovers, movie nights, go to dances, go The Bronze (a club) ALL THE TIME and pretty much manage to make the task of preventing apocalypses look like a darn good time which is why I want to be in the Scooby Gang maybe more than I want to go to Hogwarts...ok so they're even.
3. Dialogue
  • It is widely known in the cooler circles of life that Joss Whedon is responsible for pretty much his own subsection of the English language.  I can definitely claim that my speech patterns have been heavily influenced by the BTVS dialogue - the way jokes are set up is pretty unique, or was back in the day.  He frequently also makes nouns into verbs or adjectives to a comedic end.
  • I think he also invented the phrase 'five by five' which means 'it's all good'...but noone knows why, five what by five what?
  • He puts things in funny orders.
How to speak Buffy: put the main verb at the very end of the sentence
'Did I miss something cause this is making the kind of sense that doesn't'

Make it seem like you're going to say something much more insightful than you actually are by beginning it like an announcement
'I speak for everyone here when I say, huh?'

'Speaking for everyone that's me right now, we're quite impressed.'

Do...whatever this is.  This is hilarious, c'mon.
'Everything is starting to fall into place now. Unfortunately, the place is nowhere near this place'

Add 'age' to the end of everything
'slayage' as in 'let's get on with some slayage'
'sparkage' as in 'there was some serious sparkage between Willow and the werewolf she has a crush on'
Or I might say 'I am jonesing for some serious cake, time for some bakeage' ('jonesing for some serious', also a Buffyism)

Pointlessly overexplain the idiom you've just used.
'My life is fruits for Buffy.'

Most things that Oz says are funny:
I've never seen Buffy the vampire slayer  but I know TUNS about it. This is just too funny to pass up pinning...
So go forth, and watch Buffy!

4. Slayer Style

The Going To Prom But Still Having To Fight Evil That Has Fruit Punch Mouth OutfitWhat Would Buffy Wear: Being Rudely Awakened From Her Sad-Snooze?
Ever notice how the sadder Buffy gets, the more frumpy and loose her clothes get? Move over, over-alls. Make way for the baggy plaid button down!the best of…. tara maclayThe College Freshman Cherry Print Dress Outfitbuffythestyleslayer:

scooby gang

"I’m waiting outside. You’ll see me. I’ll be the one wearing the ugliest shirt imaginable."

Don’t you like my style ?
<<< = 'why'd you run away? don't you like'

Nothing has ever made hairclips, grunge, New Age, knee boots, wacky print shirts and leather look so good


  • The greatest TV musical episode that will ever be.  Joss Whedon wrote most of the songs (his first time writing music, natch).  The cast all sang their own tracks, did their own dancing etc.  Mostly to great effect.  
  • Hinton Battle guest stars as the slick, all singing all dancing demon who forces people to dance until they spontaneously combust
  • Home to one of the best lines in a song, 
Spike: First I'll save her then I'll kill her
Willow: I think this line's mostly filler

Top notch songwriting.
  • It does exactly what a musical should do, opens you up to the characters' inner lives through their songs. 
  • Spans all sorts of genres - rock, romantic ballad, song-and-dance number, pop, patter song, jazz,, tap dance, Fred 'n Ginger style partnering, commercial jazz, lyrical, West Side Story style ballet, traditional theatre dance with props and formations
  • Maybe the cleverest thing about it is that the characters ARE AWARE THEY ARE IN A MUSICAL, totally breaking the convention of musicals under which everyone randomly breaking into choreographed songs is accepted as the norm.  There is an entire song in this episode dedicated to them wondering what is making them sing.
I should stop.  Although this isn't even a teeny scratch on the surface.  I wish I could be a Buffy essayist which is a real thing.  I think I may become one as from now.

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